A Private Repository of Curiosities

Defining/ The Closet.

The Closet:

A small and enclosed space used for storage.

The Closet:

A room for privacy or retirement.

The Closet:

A private room; an inner chamber.

The Closet:

A place of private devotion.

The Closet:

That which affords retirement; a private chamber.

The Closet:

A hidden or secret place, retreat, recess.

The Closet:

The den or lair of a wild beast.

The Closet:

A place of secluded speculation.

The Closet:

A private repository of curiosities.

However you define it,

A Closet is a place to keep things.

Clothes

Shoes

                        Boxes

                                    Secrets

                                                Skeletons

Often times, one can find themselves trapped/

In their very own Closets.

History provides many examples of those trapped/

In their very own Closets.

R. Kelly

Trapped in the Closet

After a one night stand

which sets off a chain of events,

which gradually reveals an even bigger web of

deceit, sex, lies.

Miss Ogilvy

Trapped in the Closet

Being born a Wilhelmina

but always longing to be a William.

Dies alone in a cave before truly Finding Herself.

Roy Cohn

Trapped in the Closet

Refusing to admit homosexuality

Diagnosed with AIDS/ delusions of grandeur/ living a false life

All the Angels in America couldn’t help him.

Everyday Homosexuals

Trapped in the Closet

Afraid of society/ oppression/ discrimination/ stigmatization/ hate.

Afraid/ to live their true life

Afraid/ to admit what they might think

Afraid/ of what might happen.

Coming out of the Closet can be a difficult process.

One must form and accept their sexual identity,

must respond to their potential feelings of attraction to the same sex.

Once accepted, they must choose to disclose this information to others.

And when determining how to disclose this information,

it is typical to feel a variety of reactions:

Confusion

Despair

Self-doubt

Denial

Pride

Acceptance

Which makes it all the more difficult to disclose this information.

However, once one comes out of the Closet

it may seem that all in the world is finally right

and one can go about their new found life.

However, epistemologically speaking,

Closets are contradictory places for those who dwell in them.

According to Sedgwick,

one must stereotypically strut, parade, jaunt, traverse, traipse, promenade

  down the street, road, avenue, boulevard, rue, autobahn, esplanade

Asserting their homosexuality

or else suffer the consequence

of having to re-exit the Closet.

However, this may not be the case; it may not apply to everyone.

Having to re-emerge from the Closet,

upon every new encounter,

infers that we live in these Closets our whole life.

Once one comes out of the Closet,

one should not have to refer back to the term/ Closet/ in the same sense,

even if one is disclosing their sexual identity once more.

This is what makes the Closet a contradictory place.

You can’t be in it, yet you can’t be out of it.

Staying in the Closet

obscures you from knowing

whether everyone is treating you as straight

because you managed to convince them are you straight

Or,

if they are simply treating you as straight

to keep your façade.

This folly gives others a sort of power/

control/ capability/ endowment/ dominance/ sovereignty/ authority

over your own sexual identity.

It allows them to relish in the…

“epistemological privilege”

that your ignorance/ of their knowledge/ can afford them.

And if you do choose to come out of the Closet,

 those who once relished in their “epistemological privilege”

can choose to revoke that moment from you

by not giving up their privilege

and hoarding your sexual identity

as a secret,

a secret, to which, they have sole access to.

Closets/ come in all types, colors, names, sizes.

Armoire

Broom Closet

Cabinet

Coat Closet

Cupboard

Linen Closet

Utility Closet

Walk-in Closet

Wardrobe

Water Closet…

Just like our clothes and shoes,

We can choose to live in our Closets

and emerge when it is most opportune for us.

Or, like our skeletons,

We can choose to stay in our Closets

and suppress the secrets that lie within.

Or, like those who came before us,

We can choose to exit our Closets,

and never look back.

Sure you may have to pack a bag or two,

bring your clothes with you,

a pair of shoes possibly,

maybe a bone from that skeleton to remind you of where you came from.

But remember:

A Closet is a place of storage, first and foremost.

We shouldn’t be confined to such a place.

Not even if it is the most spacious walk in Closet

that we’ve ever created for ourselves.

Not even if our coming out moment

was the most glorious moment of our life and we wish to relive it.

For if we stay in the Closet, voluntarily or involuntarily,

We become trapped.

And if we are trapped/

Our Closets become

the den/ lair/ hideout/ a chamber of secrets/

to a wild beast.

Nature intended for beasts/ and humans alike/ to roam free.

We are not subject to confinement.

Living in a Closet,

however spacious you may have made it seem,

is a contradictory place to live:

One foot in, one foot out.

Just because you made a grand exit once,

does not mean you should have to re-experience the event again,

however glorious your experience may have been.

Simply,

Dare to be.

Step out/ don’t look back/

and close the door behind you.