“But this time when I touched him something happened in him
and in me which made this touch different from any touch either of us had ever
known” (Baldwin, pgs. 7-8).
It’s hard to ignore from the beginning of the story that
David has some repressed feelings that he has trouble expressing. From the
moment the reader learns about his first encounter with another man, it is easy
to tell that sexuality and sexual identity are going to be reoccurring themes
within the story. David is struggling with the fact that he is trying to
convince himself that he ‘loves’ women yet is sexually attracted to men. The above
quote is an excellent example of this point. How well of a deceiver is David in
his attempts at hiding his secret?
When Jacques and David visit Guillaume’s bar and David meets
Giovanni, David tries to muster the ability to leave the bar and pick up a
woman, but he cannot. Instead he gets pulled into Giovanni’s gravitational
force. Throughout the night, he keeps up his mantra of attempting not to lead
Giovanni onto the wrong message. To no avail however, they end up sleeping
together. – Seems oddly familiar. Has
this happened before? Weren’t Joey and David just hanging out at the beach
scamming on babes before they slept with each other? It seems that David has a
harder time convincing himself of his non-homosexuality, which is something
that others obviously don’t see.
On the topic of David’s sexuality, it seems that he only
feels comfortable in others’ rooms. He and Hella have their own room. This
seems like just a room, however. When compared to Giovanni’s room, and even
Joey’s room for that matter, these rooms seem to act as a refuge for David
where he can act himself and not worry about the deceit he lives. (That is
until he wakes up the next morning and feels dirty about what he just did, but
that’s another topic…)
Personally, as upset as I felt at times with David, I must
say that I saw some of myself in him. I’ve always said that my sexuality was
fluid, but have only ever dated girls. It wasn’t until recently that a ‘Giovanni’
fell into my own life and was able to pull me out of my room and into another
room where I could be myself. Was David happy to be pulled out of his comfort
zone and into this new room where he may or may not have felt safe? Only Part II
will let us find out. For me however, I can say that if David and I are truly
as similar as we seem to be, stumbling into a room you aren’t comfortable with,
isn’t always a bad thing.
Works Cited:
Baldwin, James. “Giovanni’s Room.” New York, NY: Random
House, Inc., 1956. 3-71.
You did a great job of analyzing David's discomfort with himself and his homosexuality. I feel like, to him, the reason he was so comfortable in the rooms of others was because that allowed him to keep his sexual encounters away from his home life. Thus allowing him to keep it at an arms length. The more that his two worlds intermingle, the harder of a time he would have convincing himself that he loves women.
ReplyDelete(Well, I guess I need to keep up the "first comment" thing I've got going on, I suppose.)
ReplyDeleteAnyways, Steven I really enjoyed your post about Giovanni's room and it definitely resonated with a few things inside me as well.
Isn't it funny how sometimes when we try to get rid of something and push it to the back of our minds as "uncomfortable and wrong," and then we run right back to it like a few hours later because there's something there that pulls us back to it's ever-alluring aura? If that didn't make any sense, think of it through my chocolate example.
I love chocolate. However, I believe it is "bad for me and not what I should be eating," which makes my mind try (and mostly fail to) push it away every time I see that glistening Snickers bar in the check-out line.
Being that as it may, there's something that pulls me back to it, an enjoyment I get out of that sugary delight that I don't get anywhere else. Even though my mind is yelling at me as I indulge, I can't help myself and I can't hide my true feelings for my definite addiction to chocolate. Now, I understand that has very little to do with sexuality at all, but I hope my point comes across, haha!
OOOOOH, KELSEA BEAT ME TO IT!
DeleteEyes are windows to the soul:
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, props to Kelsea for unseating Daniel's reign as first commenter.
Secondly, I agree with Steven that sexuality and sexual identity are going to be reoccurring themes throughout; however, after reading Part I, I believe the discourse is going to be tempered strongly by a refusal to be straight-forward and have a honest discourse. As the narrator himself says, "I understood...that we had never talked, that now we never would" (pg 19) in reference to his father.
Nevertheless, people say that not all communication is verbal. Did anyone else notice an almost absurd reference to eyes so far? I've counted about 37. In some cases, eyes are referenced to reveal character traits, such as the caretaker's eyes containing "something at once shrewd and gentle" (pg 66), but the narrator also notes "her eyes search [his face]" and that he is "afraid of her eyes" (pg 67). This sort of back and forth plays out between many different characters, but so often what seems to happen is some sort of avoidance, such as Giovanni diverting his gaze out the window on page 49 during the cab ride or the narrator casting down his gaze when conversation gets too difficult, so that even this nonverbal communication is terminated.
Which brings me to another point, there also seems to be a lot of references to windows (about 13). Here though everyone seems to be casting their gaze out absently, such as David's prime way of remembering his father on page 11. In many of these cases, there isn't even anything to watch outside, most often there's a "darkening gleam" (pg 3), "darkening window" (pg 10), "watching in the window as the night comes down outside", or the "hard, glacial window...bent over [him]" (pg 17). To me this creates the idea of windows as a barrier or filter to reality; facing the truth seems so ominous that all one can do is stare blankly out at nothing.
Hopefully Part II brings a more optimistic and engaging outlook, however unlikely this may be. All I can say is If he starts to wear his sunglasses at night, so he can, so he can, keep track of the visions in his eyes, I'll be extremely disappointed.
Travis, I love your points about the windows and the eyes. I think that David, as a character, is so closed off and evasive that the usage of windows and eyes offer a fantastic literary counterpoint to who he is at his core. Who knows if Baldwin intended this or not, but I like to believe the the translucence of windows and eye (eyes are the window to the soul, after all) was meant to contrast Davids repression and secrecy, which as most of us here know, is heavy and opaque.
DeleteI, like a couple others, have almost finished the book, so I know there to be even more references, one to the windows in Giovanni's room, in particular, that make me believe that Baldwin was including a bit of commentary on the murkiness of sexuality. Curiously, as you'll see, Giovanni, instead of covering his windows with drapes, paints them over with a blurring substance that lets in light of otherwise acts as a screen. What does this say about Giovanni? I not quite sure yet. But based on the 37 times you've counted references to eyes so far, I find it hard to believe that this author is doing anything by accident.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteI finished the story, so I'll try not to give any spoilers.
I love that you've pointed out this main point of contention within David. His unwillingness to confront and accept this part of his sexuality except in dark, hidden places creates a miserable existence for him and leaks into others' lives, too. I feel that he has a serious disconnect with people because of it, too. He cannot connect to his father, aunt, any of the people in Paris...and when he does manage some connection, it always seems to be horribly intermixed with selfishness or self-hate. I have to agree that 'rooms' and 'windows' are continually there, from bars to Giovani's to Hella's. I feel the rooms are prisons for the characters, trapping them in their own existences, their own illusions that they create to make life bearable, and keeping anyone from really being free or seeing the truth. There is a lot to do with truth, lies, and what we choose to see, but I feel like that may be more prominent in part 2, so I'll shut up.
One scene that hit a cord for me (reeeally hit a cord), though, was when David crashed his car and ended up severely injured in the hospital. It broke my heart a little because it really showed the father-son relationship between them and, I think, a great number of people. I've been in a similar situation when I had surgery. The doctors "forgot" to put in the epidural to block the pain and instead had me on drip morphine (which by the way doesn't work for me). I cried for my mommy just as David cried for his daddy, reverting back to this horrendous childhood state of pure helplessness. But what really struck me was not my similarity to David but my parents' to his father. Can you imagine what it must be like as a parent to see your child in agony and be completely unable to even comfort them properly? My case was simply because I was in pain, but I feel that between David and his father, it was a much grander chasm. David is lost, continues to be lost, and in that state it was like one last cry for retribution, connection, maybe even apology. There is a moment between them where they both wonder what went wrong and knowing that whatever it is, it can't be fixed. This comes up several times in the letters between David and his father, his father sounding helpless, wanting that connection, but both understanding very well that they won't have such a thing. I think it comes to the theme of truth, lies, and deception, what barriers can be placed and who becomes alienated. It is also a poignant representation of parents, I think, or what it is to be a parent, but since I am not one, I can't fully understand what that is.
Anyways, I hope everyone enjoys the rest of it. It was a really great read.
I'm having a lot of trouble commenting because, like you, I'm almost finished with the book. I don't want to spoil it for people! It really is a great read. I honestly didn't expect to like it so much.
DeleteI completely agree with Steven and Laura about the rooms. Although I didn't quite grasp this potential theme while reading, it makes sense. I mean, David seems to be using certain rooms as forms of escapism (e.g. Joey's). Perhaps he finds comfort in the fact that Hella's room is just that--a room. There are no secret indulgences. There are no "shameful" acts. Whereas, in Joey and Giovanni's rooms, there is an exciting, terrifying thrill that David tries to avoid. And Travis, I think the eyes might have something to do with his constant paranoia. Not only does he not want anyone to peer into his inner sexuality, he also doesn't want to see it himself.
ReplyDeleteQuick Note: Steven, good job on the post. You really gave me more to think about when reading the rest of the book. And your personal parallelism to David's story was awesome.
My favorite response when people tell me to stop being paranoid is to reply that you aren't being paranoid if people are out to get you, but here you may be right.
DeleteHe does constantly mention that he feels like all eyes are on him in crowded places. The most prominent examples being just after he has met Giovanni for the first time on page 38, and he feels like the entire bar has watched their exchange unfolding with bated breath, or when Giovanni takes them to his favorite hang out spot, and David feels like "part of a traveling circus".
Your point about his not wanting to see it in himself is particularly riveting because now that I think about it, there are several references to his looking in reflective surfaces, such as his drinks or mirrors, but offhand I can't think of any references where he describes what he sees in his own eyes. All he ever mentions is a sort of trapped feeling his reflection seems to have.
First I just want to say that this is by far my favorite blog so far! I think it’s fairly obvious that David has some serious problems accepting his own sexuality. For me personally I can also relate to the relationship between David and his father. You can tell deep down David loves his father and craves to have his approval. But because growing up it’s been clear that his father wants him to grow up to be “a man” and his manhood is being threaten by his homosexual tendencies then I would assume that he feels that he’s not meeting up to his father’s expectations . This can make him both resent his father for having such expectations and distance himself from having a closer relationship with him as a way to cope from ever being disowned for not fulfilling his father’s expectations. It’s really sad to see him self-sabotage his relationship with his father and anyone that gets too close.
ReplyDeleteI think Steven hit it dead on when he mentioned the rooms, and how important an secure they are to David. From his first encounter, all he really remembers is the room, not even truly recalling what he and Joey did together before then, just details. ANd also, as soon as he leaves, he seems to loose that security which he felt, or I guess like you said, once morning comes and the time to hang out in bed is over. It's like morning is his own cruel wake up call, his own sense of reason being an alarm and making him see what he did in a more new, if more twisted, light.
ReplyDeleteI agree Shannon. I also think Steven hit dead on when he mentioned the rooms and how the parallel the "gay world" and the "straight world". Of course by "worlds" I mean cultures but nonetheless, the two cultures are very different in the story so far. Davids feelings of heteronormavity, I believe stem from issues of not having a mother or an active father. Being straight is the only thing David knows until his encounter with Joey. Although David felt excitement when around Joey and even kissing him and being entangled in the sheets, it was something that David could just not grasp-until Giovanni. At the beginning of the book with Joey and even at the beginning of his his encounter with Giovanni, David seems to think that the possibility of either being sexually attracted to a man or possibly spending the rest of his life with a man is just "too good to be true" and often tries his best to steer clear of it, despite his best efforts.
ReplyDeleteDavid even goes as far as to try and leave the bar to pick up other girls when his body/emotions continues to tell him otherwise. Of course emotions get win the battle in the end, pulling David into Giovanni's room, but i'm with Stephen, stepping into the "dark side" isn't so bad.
I wholeheartedly agree with Kelsea’s comment about David trying to separate the sexual and romantic spheres in his life. I find it very fascinating that he is able to fool himself so well by simply not taking his lovers home with him. I feel like there’s a phrase ‘taking your work home with you’ or something like that.
ReplyDeleteAs for Travis’ very detailed observations of Baldwin’s little nonverbal nuances, I also was very impressed by these cues while reading. The protagonist’s high self-awareness makes him much deeper of a character, and more relatable. For instance, on page 46 when David is in the cab next to Giovanni and is extremely hyper attentive to how his actions represent him. He pulls his hand away out of embarrassment due to his confession that he was nearly thrown out of his hotel. However, he realizes that pulling his hand away nonverbally confirmed his “coy,” “helpless” impression that he was trying to disprove verbally. David quickly improvised and searched for a cigarette with his stray hand, hoping that he has succeeded in fooling Giovanni with his calm and collected front.
I think that to actually meet David and see his actions from an outsider’s perspective would be very interesting. His actions often seem to contradict his thoughts (such as his “mantra” of non-homosexuality that Steven mentioned), and I wonder if we would have even picked up on David’s true thoughts had we witnessed his and Giovanni’s encounter in person. He probably comes off as one of those ‘dark, mysterious, intellectual types.’ His ‘double life’ that he seems to be living is also interesting. When around his father and even Joey, David liked to talk about/look at ‘babes,’ fight and keep up a masculine façade. Jessica addressed this well, noting that David’s “manhood is threatened by his homosexual tendencies.”
It’s really great to see that everyone is so enthralled by this book and eager to contribute, even before we have even had the chance to discuss it in class! I look forward to finding an even deeper truth in the text through discussion in class today. I hope that we look more into Baldwin’s biography as well to aid us through context. With a deeper understanding and appreciation, reading the second part will be that much more enjoyable.
I really liked all the insight you all have given that offers different lenses through which to view these events. I personally liked the way Jacques compared their sex lives to "putting an electric plug into a dead socket". I feel a lot of sexual encounters, if not approached in the right way, can feel like this; simply filling a void that will never be satisfied without another vital element (which could be a number of things). I think that David's encounters could follow this pattern if he does not take steps towards self-discovery that would enable him to make more self-assured choices.
ReplyDeleteI love this book. I love the sense of fluidity and artfulness that is considered so stereotypical of France and the French. Also, the sense of age and sorrow that permeates every chapter lends itself to increasing the sobriety of the homosexual issue that David faces. He's not attempting to find himself, but rather ignore himself, which I see almost as worse than rejecting oneself. At least rejection implies acknowledgment. There is an alienation and a loneliness that comes with avoiding who one truly is at their core.
ReplyDelete