Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde

There is something about this particular author that is very endearing. She is real and she captures your attention with her extremely detailed descriptions of her life in this “biomythography”. In the first 11 chapters of the book, you get an understanding of how Audre grew up and her experiences as a child. Growing up in the WWII era in New York City, her parents were immigrants from Grenada. Audre describes herself when she is a child as being “fat, Black, nearly blind, and ambidextrous in a West Indian Household” (24). She is teased and called names for being different. Even within her family, she feels like the oddball. I feel like a lot of people can relate to being the black sheep of the family and feeling isolated to others around them, which helps in connecting more with the book. Her two sisters, Phyllis and Helen, are very close in age and have a bond that is not shared with Audre. She longs for companionship. Audre faces the harsh reality of racism, especially in school. It angered me to read about how she was treated in class and how her teachers (which were nuns) thought of her as below them. 

           

            On the topic of sexuality, Audre explains some very interesting feelings and observations. Her feelings towards her mother are sometimes questionable and confusing. In a way, I feel like Sigmund Freud’s Oedipus complex comes into play here. Audre admires her mother; however, in her recollections and descriptions of her mother aren’t the norm. For example, “Years afterward when I was grown, whenever I thought about the way I smelled that day…I would have a fantasy of my mother…looking down upon me lying on the couch, and then slowly, thoroughly, our touching and caressing each other’s most secret places” (78). This parallels with her memory of Toni. At four years old, Toni sparks Audre’s curiosity. This part in the book is a little mind-boggling for me. It is extremely erotic for the inner monologue of a 4-year-old. Wanting to “undress” and “touch” isn’t exactly what’s on the agenda for the average toddler. But perhaps her admiration for her mother as well as this new curiosity with Toni is the budding growth of Audre’s sexuality and love for women. The meaning of "Zami" is women who work together as friends and lovers! When she first menstruates at 15, she embraces her womanhood. She explains, “My body felt new and special and unfamiliar and suspect all at the same time. (77). As a woman, I appreciate this adoration for fellow women. It is a bond, a sisterhood that makes me happy. I’m anxious to keep reading about her endeavors further on in the book. 

-Peri Boylan