"I will carry on/ I will come back/ I will grow more powerful/ I will remember"
“Love
conjure/ Blues” is a seething mess
of emotion and thoughts and events that all run together into something that is
almost indecipherable at times.
However, I think it is a perfect way to portray the characters and the
desperate nature of their experiences.
The
language itself was baffling, and reminded me of having to read “Huckleberry
Finn” aloud to myself during high school, which was the only way I could
comprehend Jim’s dialect. Even though this is clearly not academic
English, I think this was a way for the author to fully submerse the reader in
the experiences she was having and help to include the reader in every way
possible. As for the culture
itself, I was at a loss, finding myself almost completely unable to relate to
the language spoken and the particular events happening around these people.
My
favorite aspect, however, was the consistent underlying theme of characters being forced to confront their own flaws.
Only then could they conquer their pasts. On page 59, Red asks Peachy for help with her dreams, and
Peachy confronts Red about her “gotdamn evil ass heart,” and later says, “I
can’t go back/but I sure as hell can move forward”(59-60). In my absolute favorite scene in the
book, Lushy takes Bettye outside of the nightclub to beg to get her back; “Fo
all the ways I acted a fool and I know I was wrong/ and I was sho nuff wrong/
for fucking change bettye. I am sorry honey. I am sorry,” (66-67). The entire speech was moving, and the
last lines sum it up pretty well.
He needed to be honest about himself before he could make someone else
happy.
A
great thing about this kind of literature is that, hopefully, everyone can find
a character or event and be able to relate to it personally. When I read this book, I instantly
thought of something I wrote about a year ago.
Hands.
They are not perfect, these hands of mine.
They seem to have aged past my years, past what youth
Hurtling into an unsteady world of adulthood that I often
don’t understand
Dirty fingernails, scars criss-cross their backs
They have been there for me, though. They are mine.
Dusted off my shoulders
Lifted me out of places I should have never been
And other places where many hands go
They have worked, they have sweat
Clumsily running a brush over canvas
Flicking the butt of my guilty habit
Packing, unpacking. Never sure of where they will end up
And they have held other hands
Hands of mother and father, hands of loved ones
Some that were not right for them
This is only very first part of the
poem, but I wrote it for myself, because I could feel the weight of my troubles
bearing down on me. At some point,
you have to look at yourself for exactly what you are, and accept the good with
the bad. This book absolutely
struck that chord for me. Every
character was tragic in their own way, and they each had their own struggle. Bridgforth takes these struggles and
makes them triumphant, which is one of the best things a person can do for
their self.
This was a really great post Daniel. I also had some trouble getting through some parts of the book due to the language choice, but I agree that it suited the characters well by adding a certain layer of authenticity to them and their plights. Even more interesting to me was how each character, in addition to having their own manner of speaking, also had their own distinct font. Before reading this, I had never seen this done in a book before, and at least to me, it made what was being said all the more poignant. Maybe it adds a layer of queer to the book in that everything all the way down to the differing fonts and spacing resist being standardized? A quote from the introduction was particularly telling, "the way these structures respond to the unwieldiness of their size and complexity is by encouraging uniformity and an erasure of detail" (xiv). Social order is made of so many small individual components, that unlike things become lumped and standardized to the point where being different/queer becomes synonymous with being wrong instead of just different.
ReplyDeleteYour personal excerpt was also really amazing. It really served to reinforce the idea of finding a creative outlet to express feelings that are difficult to be put into words. Whereas you penned your thoughts into poetry, the characters in the book focused their feelings into their music (either vocally or on an instrument) or their movements (either dancing or their general gait). No matter in what form the feelings manifest, the important aspect they take on is that they are able to be shared publicly; this is seen many times in the book as the crowd is whipped into a frenzy, losing control in the sweet, almost primal, indulgence.
I don't have anything meaningful to add to it, but I really like your idea of the unusual structure as a means of reinforcing queerness, and a way to resist homogenization.
DeleteHowever, I'm not sure if different/queer has a connotation of "wrong". I think that people largely associate what falls outside the borders of what we define as normative as being strange rather than wrong. Strange can be something unsettling or foreign, which is the response I think of people as generally having toward "queerness", whereas wrong is a much more visceral, aggressive reaction. That's not to say that "wrong" never happens, I just don't think it's as common as you suggested.
I love the poem that you shared, but I especially loved the last two lines: "...hands of loved ones / Some that were not right for them". I thought it was really poignant.
ReplyDeleteI also appreciate your appreciation of the novel (ha). I found it incredibly difficult to get through - the language, as well as the structure, is jarring and frustrating, but thinking about it now, I guess that's part of what Bridgforth is trying to convey. It's a useful means of engaging the reader in some sort of struggle, and, although obviously to a much lesser extent, allows a sense of what it is to struggle, whether racially, personally, or culturally.
That being said, I have not enjoyed "Love Conjure/Blues". It may at least be partially due to a total lack of exposure to anything so stylistically challenging, but it's also difficult to relate to such culturally/racially driven works. I feel incredibly guilty and uncultured saying it - like a typical "privileged white American" - but in both this novel and "Borderlands", I felt culturally ostracized rather than immersed, and it makes the reading much more difficult to get through.
I say I have to agree and disagree with Meagan, however she does bring up a very good point.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely does make the reading that much more difficult to get through, and I also felt a little ostracized and was totally blanking on some of the words no matter how many times I said it. For example I read "chile" like the actual pepper for almost half the book before realizing it was just a version of the word "child." Yeah, that happened. However, I do believe the dialect is what made it so interesting to me as a reader, it was a window into a culture I never experienced, and even though I have and never will be a part of it, it's nice to "walk in someone else's shoes" if you will. Strangely enough I found this work easier to get into than Borderlands.
Personally, this book is my favorite text we've read thus far. The imagery and symbolism of love, lust, loss, strength, and rebirth that cycle throughout the book created situations that I'm sure a lot of people could relate to. The part which spoke to me the most was the quote about love by "cat" about how it's a work in progress and how one must work to have a good relationship (pg. 31). This is perfectly represented through Daniel's example of Lushy and Bettye, about how the owning up of one's mistakes shows the effort Lushy is putting into this relationship, and how it just took a little "change" to make it happen.
First Daniel Simmons, that poem is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteSecond, Daniel Jenkins, I just died of laughter of your "Chile" dilemma.
And third, I agree with Meagan.
I could barely get through this piece. And I felt incredibly ostracized. Which then led to a feeling of guilt because as a black person I should get it, right? But having been adopted by two redheads I can stand strong behind the fact that I have never spoken like that in my life.
That being said, I actually read the prologue of this one and took note of the fact that it is a piece that's meant to be read out loud. So that's what I did. I sat in my room, dug deep for my best Madea impersonation and read the book. And as I read, the vernacular became more fluid and familiar. It was then that I realized that this piece was brilliant. It is a beautifully accurate representation of life as seen in such a specific culture. And that's something that can be hard to accomplish. While Anzaldua made it abundantly clear what her culture was through the context of her words, Bridgforth did it through the actual words themselves. Did I enjoy this piece? No. Did I respect it? Certainly.
Daniel you did an amazing job summing up this piece! I think “a seething mess of emotion and thoughts and events that all run together into something that is almost indecipherable at times” definitely hits the jackpot. I also second everything Kelsea just said. It talks a lot about the struggle but it also talks about the strength they find within themselves to overcome those struggles. There are so many references to Jesus that it’s hard not to bring up religion into the matter. My favorite part is on page 15 where it says:
ReplyDeleteaaawwwhhh aaawwwhhhaaawwwhhh
Gagaga gagaga/aaawwwhhh aaawwwhhhaaawwwhhh
Gagaga gagaga/aaawwwhhh aaawwwhhhaaawwwhhh
Take me now lawd
aaawwwhhh aaawwwhhhaaawwwhhh
Straight up to heaven
aaawwwhhh aaawwwhhhaaawwwhhh
Don’t leave me here
aaawwwhhh aaawwwhhhaaawwwhhh
I need a saving
aaawwwhhh aaawwwhhhaaawwwhhh
Take me now/lawd
aaawwwhhh aaawwwhhhaaawwwhhh
Take me now
aaawwwhhh aaawwwhhh aaawwwhhh
Take me now
aaawwwhhh aaawwwhhh aaawwwhhh
Take me now
It’s literally just screaming out for God.
This seems to me is more of an jumbles of thoughts racing through her mind. i remember reading like a synposis of the book/poetry/fairytale, saying that this book combines jazz and blue type of African American culture with literature. words like big mama, "you is free cause we was captive"(p.15) were really touching because these words are more vernacular among African American. Again and again, i could feel the self-realization and some sort of struggle(obvously that of against 'white folks') I found it funny that Kelsey actually read out loud, but at the same time it made sense to do that because it was meant to be read in a certain way. Reading this in a sit-down and quite surrounding wil not bring out 'the true representation of a specific culture.' It is like singing a rap song with no beats and rythms.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I appreciate how Daniel pointed out from a specific passage that he need to be honest with himself before making someone happy. I didn't catch that yet.
Jenkins, I so understand your "chile" dilemma! I read it that way as well, until I realized that it just wasn't making much sense that way.
ReplyDeleteOn a general note, I was very taken aback by Bridgforth's writing style. I had read in the "Novel as Performance" section that it was meant to be read aloud (something that I did not do, by the way). There was certainly a lot of repeating and deciphering of words/phrases in my head. However, I agree with you, Daniel Simmons. This way of writing was the most riveting, authentic form the author could have chosen to portray not only herself but her culture. Just like Twain, she chose to write about a particular group of people the only way that brings true justice: exactly the way they speak.
The excerpt from your personal poetry was beautiful, Daniel. It honestly made me peer at my hands and wonder how much they had been through my entire life. It made me think if my hands could tell a story, what kind of story would they tell?